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I’m seriously done. I am sick, it’s almost finals week, and I have missed way too much class. I just want to curl in a corner, cry myself to sleep, and hope I get through next week with actually good grades. Ugh FML

Today I did absolutely nothing. I sat here in front of my laptop trying to write this paper for class and I just randomly stared at my screen like a moron. I feel so down doing any thing, even the small things, is so hard. Things like getting up to make lunch or turning the TV on for my kids or even picking up their little messes throughout the day. Talking to anyone about it, is next to impossible. I don’t know what else to do about how I’m feeling.

 

Just had a break down because I can’t find my contacts case. This is ridiculous… Why would something so small get me this worked up?

Today is the second day of December 2016. This year is almost over and what have I accomplished this year? Not much, at least no more than I usually do. I have almost completely finished another year of college, but what has that gotten me so far? Further into debt. Have I gotten a job? No. Why? School, kids, house, etc. Stress has gotten to me this year more than it has ever gotten to me except after having kids. My depression has gotten significantly worse and talking to family about it gets me remarks like, “You just want attention.” and “You’ll get over it.” oh and my favorite, “Maybe if you would just stop getting upset, you wouldn’t feel like this.” Really? I wish it was that simple. Anyway, this is the last month of this year and I want to truly try to do something to better my life before 2017 begins. Especially since we have been struggling financially this year.

 

P.S. School and kids do not mix with a job, it’s nearly impossible for me to juggle all three, I wish I could though, it would help so much!

Until next time,

-C